Fighting the layoff blues

When you're unemployed, you read stories about the economy and jobs with even greater interest than usual. The Bureau of Labor Statistics recently reported an increase in the number of jobs being added in October. I used to write these economic stories all the time as a reporter, funny.

As a Bloomberg News wire reporter years ago, I  did the occasionally "lockup", where reporters are locked in a federal government office in D.C. at an oh-so-early hour, and given that week or month's economic data ahead of an embargo time -- and I often did the weekly Thursday first-time applications for unemployment benefits, the Consumer Price Index (inflation rate) and the monthly jobs report (what tells us how many jobs were created or lost each month, plus the nation's unemployment rate).

All the major news agencies would have reporters at these lockups, and we'd all write up the data in story form and then press "send" at the designated time, allowing Wall Street and economists to rapidly devour and digest the numbers as they hit the wires. I'll admit, they were just numbers to a reporter then. Now, even when I find work again someday I don't think I'll ever be so non-chalant about economic reports! Those numbers are people, folks.

I've just finished two weeks of being unemployed. It's been tough at points, but I'm doing OK. I got to see my baby girl this week via ultrasound, and she is healthy and developing exactly as she should be. And she is a bouncy little thing, which I love. She's just as antsy as her mom! Above, gratuitous velour baby dress picture, from the Gap.

And I have to face the facts that folks are more focused on the holidays right now, and I've been advised, ok, warned that job offers will mostly dry up until after the first of the year. It makes me really anxious, I'll admit. But, OK, we'll deal, right?

I think the hardest thing, financial concerns aside, is dealing with how much I've identified myself with what I do professionally. I mean, most of us do, right? I really realize this when I fight recent, occasional feelings of being discarded or unworthy. Those thoughts creep into my head sometimes and threaten to drive me bananas -- they particularly like to show up in the middle of the night if my little toddler man wakes up crying from teething. (Poor kid, molars are a bear!) But then daylight eventually arrives, I go for a run and then eagerly check my BlackBerry, hoping for a nugget of good news. Got one today -- someone new wants to meet me. Thank goodness hope never totally dies. I love working and can't wait to do it again. It's a new day tomorrow and I'm ready for it.