Feminism and princesses? Sure.

Our littlest one is turning 5 this week. Naturally, the celebration began early, with a birthday party yesterday.

Ever my girly-girl, my daughter had planned her outfit for weeks. Impractical, slightly-too-large pink sparkle dress, tiara, silver-sparkle mary-jane shoes and butterfly wings.

Sure enough, when I got home from my run yesterday morning, she was already decked out like a junior fairy on her way to the national fairy convention.

Also naturally, there was a wardrobe change mid-party into something more practical as the party moved to our backyard on a moderate March day. It may have involved a pink unicorn shirt.

As my husband cut the cake (naturally, princess/rainbow-themed) I thought of this question a woman asked me years ago. 

She had infant twin girls at the time, and she wondered if it was bad to have pink things and books about princesses, because these things could teach her girls that you can only have a good life if a man saves you, or some logic like that.

Interesting question -- but to me, the answer is simple. Who do our girls take their cues from throughout their lives? Though Sofia the First is a pleasant role model on how to be nice to other people, our girls look to the other women and girls in their lives, and how they interact (and are treated) by men. Strong women, decent men makes for strong girls.

I've been lucky to have many of both in my life, and hope I am that for my daughter.

Which brings me to the "F" word. 

Feminism.

Holy crap, I can't believe it's 2016 and the F word is still freaking people out.

Look at events in recent months: 

• Madeline Albright implying that young women who support Bernie over Hillary are going to hell. 
• Gloria Steinem's comments implying that girls go to Bernie supporter rallies to meet guys. (Still not clear if that's exactly what she said, but let's stick with it for now). 
• Lands End's knee-jerk reaction to pull Steinem from their spring catalog after some people freaked out, which in turn pissed off some women who are not afraid of the F word. My Facebook feed was filled with a number of posts of friends swearing off Lands End forever.

Though none of these women invented feminism, this generation -- one ahead of my Gen X self -- were trailblazers. Their methods, their approaches, can be debated elsewhere. 

But they saw and went through crap that frankly, I went through less of by the time I became an adult somewhere around the early 1990s. (Also subject to debate). As a 24-year-old, a reporter and new mom, I watched Hillary be pilloried for using the last name she was born with and for snapping "I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was fulfill my profession." I was like, yeah, me too.

In fact, I've worked for a lot of dudes over the years and been fortunate to work for decent human beings. (One of my worst bosses, actually, was a female narcissist... but I digress.)

A running buddy of mine, a generation younger than me, told me a story recently that reminded me the "F" word is still a thing. A friend of hers told of her decision to keep her given name and not take her husband's. My friend's husband observed that it was feminist (a positive thing) to choose to keep your name or change it. The woman purportedly snapped "why does everything have to be about feminism?"

Okay...

So here's my messy argument on feminism. The generation before me -- they had to deal with some crap. My generation has dealt with some crap. Younger generations will do the same. But I believe that it's getting better for women, generation by generation.

I also hope there's a day that comes when women are no longer afraid of the word "feminist". It's not something to be afraid of. You can be a Democrat or a Republican and be a feminist. Have a career outside of the home, or stay home. Work hard to support other women, not tear them down. Even if they're on your last nerve.

It's about expecting and getting fair treatment, without having to be a dude or act like a dude. Eyes on my face, not my chest, not calling me baby, sure, but also the really important stuff like equal pay and swatting politicians away from anything having to do with my uterus.

In fact, you can be the girliest girl, twirling in your impractical, slightly-too-large pink sparkle dress, tiara, silver-sparkle mary-jane shoes and butterfly wings at your party while watching Sofia the First and vote for Bernie. 

And Lands End? Just ordered my kids' sandals from there -- they had a sale that beat all the other ones I found online. After all, it's not like they stuck Trump on the cover of their spring catalog...