Three guys walk into a bar...

Recently my oldest son texted me and called minutes later. Can I come there for a few days? He sounded down.

I resisted the urge to do happy cartwheels. (Helped by the fact that I am not sure I could still do a cartwheel). Instead, I said sure, is everything okay? No, but I don't want to get into it right now.

Turns out, fight with his dad, with whom he has been living since his unplanned exit from college 18 months ago. 

Eh, it happens.

I let the kids know their big brother was coming to visit for a few days. They were excited. He's just like a big, fun uncle to them.

Guess who else was excited? My husband. He has been in much of my oldest son's life, of course. But things weren't exactly sunshine and puppies while my son was in high school. It's nice to see that with time they get along well. 

It's really nice.

My husband was really excited to take my son out for a drink, since he hasn't been back to Chicago since he turned 21 last fall. I was like, hey, maybe I want to take him out. I'm his mom!

And then I was like, wait, I'm his mom. What guy wants to go have a drink with his mom? Sigh. 

So off they went one night.

They got home long after I fell asleep. The next day I asked them if they had fun. They said they did and named the bars they went to. Mentioned meeting up with our friend Bruce, who used to play catch with my guy years ago when he was a grade school kid.

I have thought about this several times since that night. They were just three guys having a few drinks together. What did they talk about? Was it weird? Cool? Did they talk about sports? Politics? Their feelings? All of the above?

I later heard that my son was complimentary to some women at one bar. He bought a round of shots at another point.

That's about all I know.

Sometimes I have this irrational, narcissistic desire to call my son and say "are you okay? Was your childhood okay? I'm really sorry that your dad and I divorced and that it affected you your whole life. Remember that time I did (fill in the blank)? I am really, really sorry. Did I screw you up? Will you have healthy relationships and a happy life? Was I a good mom?"

I know, crazy. Why his night out brings these questions to my mind, I'm not sure.

I'm anxious that he find good friends, and not drift with so-so friends who aren't good friend material. I'm anxious for him to meet a really nice woman someday who will be kind to him and love him to pieces. And make adorable grandbabies for me. (A few years, not now...)

I may not want to know all of the answers to those questions I'll likely never ask. In fact, I'm pretty sure I probably don't.

But the fact that he occasionally calls, texts, and. comes home?

Well, I'll take that as a good sign.