Mama bear

Three and a half weeks ago, the little toddler man started at a new school, a Montessori school. Below, a description of the "montessori" way:

Montessori is a revolutionary method of observing and supporting the natural development of children. Montessori educational practice helps children develop creativity, problem solving, critical thinking and time-management skills, to contribute to society and the environment, and to become fulfilled persons in their particular time and place on Earth. The basis of Montessori practice in the classroom is mixed age group (3 ages - 6 ages in one class), individual choice of research and work, and uninterrupted concentration. Group lessons are seldom found in a Montessori classroom, but learning abounds.


The little man started the school two days ahead of his third birthday. It's not gone well. Today I was told "it's not working out" by the principal. Did I mention it's been all of 3 1/2 weeks?

Less than two weeks in, the complaints began rolling from the staff in how he was "young" for his age, how he didn't nap (and was subsequently behaving awfully for the rest of the day), how he had to be separated from other kids because he was a "danger" to other kids. This little guy just came from a daycare where at least one teacher cried when he left, and when we pick up his sister now from daycare they all hug him and smother him with love. When he stopped napping at the old daycare, they didn't rule him a problem child. They dealt with it, and talked to me so we could swap notes on how to handle. Believe me, he isn't napping here much, either.

Yeah, he's a handful, but sweet, smart and funny, too. This kid can make me laugh so hard and he can also push my buttons like nobody's business. I'm stunned, though, at what is the biggest bunch of crap I've heard from a school in a long time. If we all gave up on willful children, there would be abandoned children everywhere. I've raised a boy who is now 19. He was so maddening and wild at the age of three I wanted to bash my head into a wall many, many times.  I yelled too much and fretted too much. He outgrew it. He's a wonderful young man now in many ways. I miss him.

But when he was three, he was a handful. His daycare provider at the time ranted incessantly about him. I was a single mom and struggling with everything from parenthood to finances. I should have pulled him out but didn't until the day I arrived to pick him up and he'd been locked in a bathroom apparently for hours -- he allegedly did it himself, but the woman "caring" for him didn't see fit to call me or the fire department or something. I fired her and regret to this day I didn't do it sooner.

So now I know the little man is not in that situation, thank god, but my rage over someone so outwardly rejecting my son and labeling him has boiled over. My little guy is a handful, believe me. The tantrums and outbursts at dinner tonight drove me up the wall but we also had a wonderful time playing toys with his sister and sweet, snuggly story time with "Hop on Pop". It's one thing if someone thinks I'm an asshole. It might hurt my feelings, but whatever. But someone who callously dismisses my child?

When did being a rowdy, tantrum-throwing three-year-old go out of style?

 In my heart, I know this is just a bad fit and my kid is just fine, just challenging right now. I'm a running mama, but also a mama bear. We'll get through this, but man, I just ache for my sweet baby boy right now.