The grandma tour

I will turn 44 next month and am still super lucky to have both of my grandmothers in my life. They each live in California, so unfortunately I get to see them only when I do "the grandma tour," as one of my friends likes to call my pilgrimages.

 I love, love, love my grandmas and wish I lived closer. I've always lived far away -- as a military kid, seeing grandparents was a rare, exotic treat. Those visits still linger as some of the best memories of my life.

Last week I took the family on the most recent grandma tour -- the hub, Baby C and the little toddler man, who is in screeching distance of age 3 -- and I do mean screeching, haha. (Pass the Advil, please.) The plane rides to San Francisco were your classic wiggle, giggle and whine-fests. We divided our time between the two cities in which my grandmothers reside.

I think I learn something each time when I visit them. My mom's mom is a tough bird with a sweet heart. She putters and sputters and keeps an orderly life, even in her mid 80s. Seriously, I had trouble keeping up with her as she whisked away this and cleaned up that. I apologized a few points for not picking something up right away, for example, because I'd been interrupted with one kid emergency or another, and the woman who raised five kids laughed and said, "oh, you'll get the hang of it." I've raised a now 19-year-old -- not sure there is much hope for me, haha! She is no-nonsense and I could listen to her stories and talk to her all day long.

Then there is my dad's mom. She was the sweet, snuggly grandma who sang to me in the most beautiful voice -- she sang in a women's group back in the 40s, I think. When I got to be around her and my grandfather, I felt like the prettiest, smartest girl in the world. Grandpa died a few years ago, god bless him. Grandma's life has been fractured by dementia, sadly. It had been two years since I'd seen her last, before she began living in a home for folks with dementia. Her hair is now snow white, adorned with a jaunty, slim black headband. She's confined to a wheelchair and struggles to hear, see and remember. She was so frail.

I got to spend a few visits with her and can't get her out of my mind. I should be reading a bunch of stuff for work right now, considering I've been gone for a week. Instead I am thinking about her. I wish I could see her again, even though the woman I saw was quite different from who I remember. I hate that she is suffering. I wish I could hug her some more.

Got a grandma in your life? Hug her today.