On the job hunt

A little more than a week ago I started worrying about the job hunt again. Baby C is awesome and gorgeous and healthy, and just the sweetest little thing. But even her sweetness isn't enough to melt away the nagging worry of finding a job. Within a day or so of feeling anxious, I suddenly got a couple of calls from new headhunters, referred to me by friends (thank you!). Also, I heard back from a company to which I started talking last summer -- they apparently are looking to unfreeze the position for which I had interviewed months ago. Plus, I have another iron in the fire that I don't want to jinx myself on -- so all in all, I was definitely feeling like maybe my luck was going to change.

Job hunting and interviews can be seductive, though, and I am trying to keep my expectations reasonable. It is so soothing and exciting at the same time to have someone call you and say they want to talk to you about a job , especially when they praise your resume and experience. It's like flirting or early-stage dating, you
know? And I've gone down this road before in the nearly six months I've now been unemployed, so I am reluctant to bask too much in the compliments and encouragement -- but hey, who am I kidding. Boy, do I like it!

So anyway, I had a few interviews set up last week, and I was feeling like awesome super mama/career woman. The morning of one interview, my little toddler man started howling around 4 a.m.-ish and was up and down for a good hour. This was, of course, after Baby C didn't want to go to sleep until after 11 (her mama is so NOT a night owl) and after the usual few middle-of-the-might feedings. I got up and saw horrible bags under my eyes. Nothing says "hire me" like the haggard mom look. Maybe this is why job-hunting and maternity leave usually don't go together, haha!

The toddler man was wild at breakfast, throwing food around. And oh man, does he fight diaper and clothing changes in the morning. And since he's got the strength of a small man now, it is an exhausting fight I'm usually happy to let his dad have! I was frantically trying to throw together an attractive interview outfit and do something with my hair and makeup, which I never do anymore. (Yep, I've become THAT mom! Wah!) I swear, Baby C needed to nurse every second I could give her, Toddler Man was running wild, my hair was crazed because I had just gotten it cut the day before and couldn't style it worth a damn and then I had to, of course, have the obligatory "I look so old and fat" meltdown. Yup. Embarrassing and not my finest moment.

My husband came upstairs in the midst of all of this. He sometimes gets impatient with me when I'm super frazzled, but that day he smiled kindly and said something to the effect of "I expected this". He gave me a big hug and said I looked beautiful. Awwww. I so love this man. Sometimes it annoys me that he knows me so well, but that day it was just a relief.

Then, on the train, as I goofed off on my BlackBerry, I felt pretty silly. I'm just out of practice of getting up, getting ready and I have an extra kid in the mix. Of course it's going to be chaotic, right? And then I got this message from my husband:  You'll do great. People like you and this guy is already impressed. You have fantastic experience and you can be very confident about that. Just try to relax and enjoy the meeting. xxxx oooo

I want to print that out and carry it around with me. Everyone needs someone in their corner like that. I try not to be too sappy but I had to share that. I married a good one! And, the meeting went great, and I am looking forward to a hopeful followup. And there are more interviews and opportunities coming, which is awesome and exciting.

In the meantime, spring has hit Chicago and I'm trying to just breathe and enjoy the kids and family. My oldest graduates from high school in two months and OMG, I am going to miss him horribly when he leaves. I finally got back to running outside yesterday (after a couple of weeks of inside running). Everything is a little wonky since I am still battling freaking sciatica nearly four weeks post-partum, but man, you couldn't have kept me inside yesterday -- it was sunny and in the 60s in the morning, perfect for running in shorts and my new cute little running shirt my husband got me for my birthday. Which was super flattering on, which is what really matters, hee hee.

So this week, my goal is to just breathe. I'll let you know how that goes.