How am I supposed to concentrate on anything today?

Tomorrow is the big day: My first 50 K. First ultramarathon. First time I'm running anything longer than a marathon.

Is it irrational that I have wanted to say all week "Hey, people, yeah, that "pubic"-instead-of"public-typo-you-found-in-the-annual-report/CVS trip to buy red and pink paint (for unicorns, naturally)/cat poop-on-the-floor is important and all, but I AM RUNNING 31 MILES on Saturday so could we just talk about that, please?"

31.06855961185 miles, to be exact.

I have butterflies leaping up my throat. 

It's not because I don't think I can do this. It's just five more miles than a marathon. I've finished a few of those.

My training went great this year -- 600 miles.

It will be all on trails, which makes my knees, ankles and heart happy.

The race should be nausea-free. Unlike the spring and fall marathons I've run, which usually ended up being hot or warm enough for me to barf (or want to barf), the temps *might* just reach freezing tomorrow. 

Underrated runner food, I swear.

I've also stopped taking any kind of running gel, shot blox, etc, which have actually made me throw up, and trained eating those little-kid pureed fruit squeezy pouches for kids four months and older, as well as raisins and pretzels. I am 5 years old again. And my stomach likes it.

And yet I'm nervous anyway. 

I will be running in the woods for 6-plus hours and I just hope it's kind of fun. 

Googling "butterflies in the stomach" resulted in explanations like "fight or flight" feelings. 

I think I'm just kind of nuts right now, moreso than usual.

I spent the week dealing with a little physical, uh, distress. There was a surprise urinary tract infection last week, digestive distress from the antibiotics to cure the UTI and the probiotics I took so the antibiotics would not result in a yeast infection.

I suddenly started to worry I would be really cold out there, so lucked out and found a bargain-price fleece-lined Nike running jacket at Nordstrom Rack (less than $40!).

I took cranberry pills and multi-vitamins to stay healthy, as my snuggly little 3-year-old daughter openly coughed in my face 50 times a day.

I studied the race course map 10 times a day.

I drank water obsessively. My desk at work, littered with empty and half-full water bottles, looks like I must be hungover a lot.

I felt guilty that I would probably not get home from the race tomorrow until like, 4 p.m., leaving my husband and kids basically for the day. Am I a selfish, bad mom? No, and maybe a little bit yes.

It will be all fine. By tomorrow night  these junky little feelings will have faded. I hope to be exhausted and happy.

Today, however, is another story... My co-workers are going to just have to listen to it today. Heh heh.