M-man: I am going to be Santa Claus when I grow up.
C-girl: I going to be Daddy!
M-man: No you can't. You're a girl.
C-girl: I a girl!
M-man: You have to be mommy and I will be Santa Claus.
Tonight, in the bathtub:
Me: What's that noise?
(Silence, as my kiddies listen to the fan of the bathroom downstairs underneath us running).
C-girl: Daddy farting!
(In his defense, Daddy was not actually making any noise. Mommy, on the other hand, almost fell over, laughing.)
***
M-man is almost finished with his school year at the school he's now been at since January, after the previous one forcefully orchestrated his exit in part to make room for the board president's daughter in M's old classroom.
Since then, M-man has done really great. He still has his struggles with transitions and how to handle when he is frustrated, but generally we've seen some maturity from him.
At this point, it seems like he will just continuing to be a challenging kid. But he's also so loving and bright and well, we're along for the ride with him. I adore him and his busy, inquisitive little self.
But the last few weeks there have been some worrisome things -- not out of range for a 4-year-old boy but troubling. He was refusing to go to the bathroom and sometimes soiling himself at school -- and he's been fully potty-trained for awhile. There were outbursts. There were a few calls and emails of concern -- nothing like his last crazy school -- but a few. I began to worry.
And then last week brought a huge outburst that involved him pulling down his pants and peeing in the classroom. My oldest son did this once, as a third-grader, and I know it's a really frustrated and defiant reaction on the part of a kids. But I admit, I was freaked.
Not so much by the actual action. I just worry that he's going to be OK in the future, able to deal with stresses and anger.
So, I called a behavioral therapist, K, with whom we had worked with a little bit when M-man changed school's last winter. She was nice enough to come over tonight to our house.
Of course, since that awful day, which involved another mega-tantrum that night, M-man has had great days at both school and home.
Had I overreacted? K kindly said no.
It is a really warm night here in Chicago. It's just perfect. The kids played in the yard. When I said it was time to eat, M-man balked.
K reminded me to give two prompts and then physically motor him through to what I wanted him to do. He balked and protested. K gently reminded me to ignore the words. He had been sitting in his seat maybe 20 seconds when K suddenly enthusiastically said "I like the way you are sitting in your seat, M-man!"
Over the course of our conversation, during which she gave me lots of tips on how to get him to comply with what we tell him (a big challenge) and how to deal with his tantrums (also a big challenge), I took lots of notes. Which will go on the fridge.
Like training for a marathon, in which you follow a plan, I realized I needed a written guide to my own kid. Personal failing on my part? Maybe, but heck, I'm not breaking any records as a runner, either, but that doesn't mean I don't still work hard at it. Parenting is way more important.
I also realized something else as I sat on my patio in the warm breezes, my kids munching away on a dinner of pizza and grapes (Chef Runlikeamama, that's me).
I don't praise enough.
I mean, I don't praise very many people ever -- my co-workers, my friends, my husband or my kids. I'm not very good at complimenting either.
I'm not sure why I'm wired this way. My world view is that people ought to act a certain way and do certain things. Which kind of makes me an ass.
As I get older, I need praise less and less. Of course I ought to be working my ass off at whatever I'm doing. Why would I need praise when I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
But... watching my little guy brighten, just a little, as K praised him for sitting -- just basic sitting, the bare minimum of what he should be doing that minute, gave me pause.
Not to sound all Pollyannish, but yeah, I could stand to praise more. My little guy needs it. And frankly, probably so do other people around me. I'm going to really try.
Running update: I ran last Saturday after a 9-day break suggested by the physical therapist. Unfortunately my aches in my left leg are still there.
But I'm continuing to do my exercises every day. And I'm going to try and run again tomorrow. Oh, and I managed a 9:40 pace for 10.5 miles on Saturday, which makes me happy. :)
***
Tonight, in the bathtub:
Me: What's that noise?
(Silence, as my kiddies listen to the fan of the bathroom downstairs underneath us running).
C-girl: Daddy farting!
(In his defense, Daddy was not actually making any noise. Mommy, on the other hand, almost fell over, laughing.)
***
M-man is almost finished with his school year at the school he's now been at since January, after the previous one forcefully orchestrated his exit in part to make room for the board president's daughter in M's old classroom.
Since then, M-man has done really great. He still has his struggles with transitions and how to handle when he is frustrated, but generally we've seen some maturity from him.
At this point, it seems like he will just continuing to be a challenging kid. But he's also so loving and bright and well, we're along for the ride with him. I adore him and his busy, inquisitive little self.
But the last few weeks there have been some worrisome things -- not out of range for a 4-year-old boy but troubling. He was refusing to go to the bathroom and sometimes soiling himself at school -- and he's been fully potty-trained for awhile. There were outbursts. There were a few calls and emails of concern -- nothing like his last crazy school -- but a few. I began to worry.
And then last week brought a huge outburst that involved him pulling down his pants and peeing in the classroom. My oldest son did this once, as a third-grader, and I know it's a really frustrated and defiant reaction on the part of a kids. But I admit, I was freaked.
Not so much by the actual action. I just worry that he's going to be OK in the future, able to deal with stresses and anger.
So, I called a behavioral therapist, K, with whom we had worked with a little bit when M-man changed school's last winter. She was nice enough to come over tonight to our house.
Of course, since that awful day, which involved another mega-tantrum that night, M-man has had great days at both school and home.
Had I overreacted? K kindly said no.
It is a really warm night here in Chicago. It's just perfect. The kids played in the yard. When I said it was time to eat, M-man balked.
K reminded me to give two prompts and then physically motor him through to what I wanted him to do. He balked and protested. K gently reminded me to ignore the words. He had been sitting in his seat maybe 20 seconds when K suddenly enthusiastically said "I like the way you are sitting in your seat, M-man!"
Over the course of our conversation, during which she gave me lots of tips on how to get him to comply with what we tell him (a big challenge) and how to deal with his tantrums (also a big challenge), I took lots of notes. Which will go on the fridge.
Like training for a marathon, in which you follow a plan, I realized I needed a written guide to my own kid. Personal failing on my part? Maybe, but heck, I'm not breaking any records as a runner, either, but that doesn't mean I don't still work hard at it. Parenting is way more important.
I also realized something else as I sat on my patio in the warm breezes, my kids munching away on a dinner of pizza and grapes (Chef Runlikeamama, that's me).
I don't praise enough.
I mean, I don't praise very many people ever -- my co-workers, my friends, my husband or my kids. I'm not very good at complimenting either.
I'm not sure why I'm wired this way. My world view is that people ought to act a certain way and do certain things. Which kind of makes me an ass.
As I get older, I need praise less and less. Of course I ought to be working my ass off at whatever I'm doing. Why would I need praise when I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
But... watching my little guy brighten, just a little, as K praised him for sitting -- just basic sitting, the bare minimum of what he should be doing that minute, gave me pause.
Not to sound all Pollyannish, but yeah, I could stand to praise more. My little guy needs it. And frankly, probably so do other people around me. I'm going to really try.
Running update: I ran last Saturday after a 9-day break suggested by the physical therapist. Unfortunately my aches in my left leg are still there.
But I'm continuing to do my exercises every day. And I'm going to try and run again tomorrow. Oh, and I managed a 9:40 pace for 10.5 miles on Saturday, which makes me happy. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment